Romantic Relationships With Men

Response to Matt in upper left panel. He says black guys are not his type. And he's not sure why. Let me go a little deeper.

He's not attracted to blacks. As a defense mechanism his body is not aroused by black guys. He can't get an erection. The body tries to protect you from danger or disease. He's had a bad experience. In his past a black guy has broke either his heart or his jaw.

Black gay guys are aware of this. What white gays and black gays have in common, likely to be gay-bashed by black guys. Why am I not attracted to black guys? Because I got beat up by black guys in high school. I can't get it up. It's in my body 

In my case as an adult, I realized this paradox. Black gays are not the same as black guys in general. Despite my prejudice I dated a dozen black gay guys. I also dated a black transvestite, Miss Gay Charlottesville, a drag queen. His name was Lewis. He was pos and later died of AIDS. Still we had safe sex. I was able to perform. Because I'm a demi-sexual. I was making love to Lewis, not to a black transvestite. Once I realized Lewis was different, color didn't matter.

So in my profile I might say. No blacks or gingers. No blacks because blacks beat me up in high school. Why no gingers? A redhead broke my heart. Several redheads broke my heart.

Yet my current boyfriend is a ginger. When we met in a gay cruisey parking lot 2 decades ago, I remember telling myself. I'm not really attracted to gingers. But what about the person in front of me? Sure he looks like people I've had trouble with. Since he's attracted to me, I should give him a chance. He might not be like the others. We're both glad I took a chance on him. We talked about it. Nowadays I am attracted to gingers. My boyfriend changed me.

I enjoy the podcast.

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