First Breakup

It was December,  the fourth month dating. I think I called him for another date.

He said he couldn't see me anymore. He can't handle the emotions. He wants to re-dedicate himself to his marriage.

I am free to donate his collection of lingerie amassed in my closet. It was over. That's final. No debate.

I was in shock. I said, Uh, okay.

I didn't think much about it. The affair had already lasted longer than I expected. It had been a bumpy ride. I was relieved at first.

I would soon find out how serious was the breakup. I tried to date a hot number. I just couldn't. But I did hook up with a friend out of town.

I tried to throw out the lingerie. I was overcome with emotion. I couldn't do it.

I joined martial arts to take my mind off a hard breakup. I told everybody at the time that this was the reason.

In January I called my boyfriend to tie up a loose end. STD of course. He was worried I had given him HIV. I reminded him that our earlier test is too soon to tell. I was trying to give him peace of mind. Get tested again to be sure.

To make the call, I walked out into the field & up a hill. For better reception. But really so nobody at work could hear the conversation.

He said, You fell in love with me & I broke your heart.

When I hung up, my eyes filled with tears. My chin trembled. I had to walk around a few minutes. Shake it off. Dry my eyes. Blow my nose. Then go back to work pretending nothing had happened.

A couple weeks later, he called me at 8 o'clock Saturday morning. We talked a few more times. We met in March. We went together & got tested at the clinic. All clear. 

I wasn't worried because I had been tested regularly. I was at the top of my hookup game when we met. I gave all that up for a married man who crossdresses.

Someone who is unavailable most of the time. But I didn't see it as a choice between him or something better. I saw it as a choice between him or casual hookups again. And STDs.

Besides I loved him. He loved me. We had a new plan. We could see each other but not as frequently. At one point the interval was six weeks. But mostly every other week with exceptions.

And once a year we would go out of town on a date lasting one or two days. We made it work. He's planning another such date this summer. 

We skip over the Christmas holidays, when we usually break up. We celebrate together after New Years. We get laid. Pretty good present.

I'm as in love with him today as I ever was.

UPDATE. 

When my boyfriend read this post to me out loud, he skipped the last sentence. What? I didn't hear the last part. He read it. Then I gave him a big romantic kiss.

His only dispute was that he "pursued me" in How We Met. We agreed to change it to "He was forward." Collaborating with your boyfriend on your love story? 

How romantic!