An Early Frost 1985

This TV movie about AIDS resonated in 1985. It resonates more today because of similarities with the Covid response. 

I remember well. I turned 20 in 1984. I thought the hysteria would drive gays back in the closet. Instead they came out in a wave. Pride marches came to my sleepy home town.

My ex-boyfriend died of AIDS. We had lots of unsafe sex when I was 17 to 18. He had a new book of crazy words. Wordplay together is extremely romantic. He caught HIV after we broke up. He was a year older than me. He died at age 25.

While so many were outed by cause of death, I went into the closet. Into the military. I would get laid once or twice a year while on leave. My West Point cadet romance was '85 to '88. We hooked up 4 or 5 times total.

Since I finished college and returned to civilian life, I've dated a few pos guys. One I was close to until he died. We practiced safe sex. I was willing to take a chance because I'm a demi-sexual. I need an emotional connection to have a sexual connection. I'm attracted to the person inside the body.

When I was senior in high school, I was a bottom. I felt my heart was being used & abused. A decade later, after my celibate phase, I became a top to command more respect. It worked. I also thought it would reduce chances of catching HIV. That's silly. If bottoms catch it from tops, then tops must catch it from bottoms.

I met my current boyfriend in 2004. Twice we tested negative for HIV. Then again in 2022. 

I feel like George Washington. As he dodged so many bullets in so many battles. Holes in his uniform. Musket balls whizzing inches from his face. So have I dodged the AIDS bullet in so many hookups. Grace to God.

... Inspirational Quote...

"If he once meant something to you, he still does."