Lap Dance In Toronto


Once upon a time in the mid 1990's
In a faraway land called Canada
At a gay bar named Remington's
I got a lap dance
On a weekend getaway
With my boyfriend at the time 
In the hot summer afternoon
We drank beer at the bar
Unbeknownst to us
There was open stage for gogo dancers

One in particular caught my fancy
He wasn't a super model
But boy was he my type!
Cute cub / Hairy twink
Creative nerd with moxie 
On-stage he fornicated a pig effigy
To completion

During the performances
We learned you could ask for a lap dance
There are rules
You keep your clothes on
You don't kiss
You don't touch his private parts
You can touch every other inch
Of his body
I touched every centimeter
They have the metric system 
Twenty dollars per disco song
In a private booth upstairs
Where you two can carry on

I told my boyfriend I'll be right back
We're on vacation
He should also get some action

Mr Gogo Dancer agreed
To give me a lap dance
I said I know the rules
I will respect them and you 
I'm allowed to talk dirty 
What would a customer and gogo dancer
Have to say to each other?

Where are you from?
Rural Canada
Why did you move to the big city?
To be openly gay
I hear that / I'm here with my boyfriend
We drove up from Cleveland

What do we have to talk about?
The disco is muffled inside the booth
Relative quiet promotes conversation 
Let your naked bottom rest on my lap
Look at your hairy legs so firm
I run every day
Can I touch them?
Please
What do you call your routine?
Jogging to stay fit
I mean the show that seduced me
Life on the Farm 

Nothing to talk about?
Can I touch your washboard abs
With my burly bricklayer hands?
My fingers in your pubes
Within the rules but on the edge
Look at your pierced nipples
My fingertips touch them freely
Hairy armpits and forearms
Sincere and vulnerable are your eyes
Sweet and beautiful is your smile
My callused hands on your shoulder
I pull your body tight against mine
Your naked bottom
Against my khaki crotch

You slide back and forth
You stare into my eyes
Mr Gogo Dancer
You're so damn hot
I'm so close
Suddenly the song stops
I haven't yet got off
I'll pay for another song
I'm on vacation to remember

Back and forth / Up and down
Grunt and moan
Heavy breathing
You rock with my rhythm
My hands on your shoulders
They grip you tight
Grasp your muscled back
Squeeze your buttocks
I know the rules
Here it is my load inside my pants
While I look deep inside your eyes

The song is not over
For a minute let me hold you
If I didn't already have a boyfriend
I would ask you to be mine
And tell everybody
We met at a gay bar
You gave me a lap dance 
We hit it off
It took two songs for me to get off
The rest is history
Doesn't matter how you meet
How you stay together
That's the secret

I went downstairs to the bar
Giant wet spot front of my pants
My boyfriend had left in jealousy
Back to the hotel room
My gogo dancer sat down beside me
He bought me a beer
Because of the exchange rate
The private dance was a big tip
If I didn't already have a boyfriend
I would recruit you for the position
We both knew it was a magical moment 
A moment of a lifetime 
A moment 

Back at the hotel 
I made up with my boyfriend
Some years later
A gay friend was planning a trip to Toronto
I told him the great time I had
Get a lap dance at Remington's I said
He misunderstood
He thought it was sex
No it's simulated sex or sex adjacent
It's not really sex
It's a lap dance

If you know the rules
Respect the game and each other
You can have a great time
A memory to treasure.

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