Complicated Gay Love

30-hour romantic date minus a few hours work each day. He picked me up at 6 am & dropped me off the next day 2 pm. 3-hour drive each way. We had plenty of time to talk. We looked like a 2-man crew out to do a job. My boyfriend & I agreed we are confused.  Obviously a married man dating another man is confused. A gay man dating a married man is confused. Labels never did fit us. Acting straight when you're not is confusing. We live in a state of confusion. Me saying, it's one thing to get lucky but another thing to spend time trying to get lucky is a distinction without a difference. My boyfriend said it makes no sense. It's certainly a mixed message.  I hear you. Because of you, I have stopped saying that. I'll be jealous regardless. This is how the relationship grows. Suddenly we were seeing contradictions in everything we did. We could joke about it. The biggest contradiction came late night after a few vodka drinks. You wore full lingerie. Panties & a bik

The romantic Potomac River. 

  Jumping off point for gay romantic content. To keep our feet warm & our hearts grounded. Until I see you again.

It was December,  the fourth month dating. I think I called him for another date. He said he couldn't see me anymore. He can't handle the emotions. He wants to re-dedicate himself to his marriage. I am free to donate his collection of lingerie amassed in my closet. It was over. That's final. No debate. I was in shock. I said, Uh, okay. I didn't think much about it. The affair had already lasted longer than I expected. It had been a bumpy ride. I was relieved at first. I would soon find out how serious was the breakup. I tried to date a hot number. I just couldn't. But I did hook up with a friend out of town. I tried to throw out the lingerie. I was overcome with emotion. I couldn't do it. I joined martial arts to take my mind off a hard breakup. I told everybody at the time that this was the reason. In January I called my boyfriend to tie up a loose end. STD of course. He was worried I had given him HIV. I reminded him that our earlier test is too soon to tell.

We met in the parking lot of a national park overlook. About 6 pm the day after Labor Day, September 7, 2004. His dog came over & broke the ice. My future boyfriend was wearing big work boots, oversized for his smaller frame. We chatted as he changed into tennis shoes. He was forward. Yes I'm gay. I was to follow him to a more remote overlook although he was low on gas.  We walked down the trail & fooled around. We agreed to meet the next day and take it further. We both had jobs where a rainy day is a day off. A hurricane was forecast. We exchanged phone numbers. Now it was dark. He drove away first. When I drove out of the park, I saw him fueling up his pickup at a gas station. I tooted my horn. He waved with his whole body. That was hot.  Next day I called two wrong numbers. Oh well. He probably scribbled it because he wasn't serious. Then he called me. Thus began this passionate affair. I had his phone number now. We would hook up as often as three times in eight da

 I survived 20 days of Grindr. A gay hookup app. Ka-klink. ka-klink. You have a new dick pic in your mailbox. $40 a month & no hookups but I tried. eHarmony is more relationship oriented. $8 a month. Full of broken hearts & unrealistic expectations.  You can see from the eHarmony posts below, boyfriend & I recommitted to monogamy. I still have a lot to say. Thus this blog. I had to step up my game, way up  Grindr Profiles   2 men. 58 & 68. Just watched "The 10 Year Plan" gay romance on YouTube. Your best friend hooks up every night on Grindr for 10 years while you strike out, then y'all become monogamous boyfriends. Totally unrealistic. ------ 2 men 58 & 68. Looking for a PERSON who has a penis. Not just body parts. Grindr Rules 1) Guys want plain vanilla sex RIGHT NOW.  Pretend to like kink, dates, etc. 2) Confused. Laid-back = uptight. Top talk, bottom in profile. ------ 2 men 58 & 68. More Grindr Rules 3) Vers Top. You top average guys but will

The song sings itself as you read it. Lyrics are the rhythm. Silly dance hip-hop feel-good song. My boyfriend was most moved by the title page, not so much the actual song. I worked out the song over 3 days. "Love Goggles" by Blair Hawkins Gay Love Song/ Make Up Song June 19, 2022 / Father's Day To, For, About My Boyfriend "secret" My Inspiration ************************ Sure I'll be disappointed in the future but right now I see life thru Love Goggles Pop has pep in his step Love Goggles Went to bed with a smile Woke up with a smile Love Goggles How'd you get to be so hot, Pop? Love Goggles (Honey Pot) These eyes ain't bloodshot Love Goggles (Horny Pot) I took it to the limit Brought it right back home Love Goggles (Pop is so hot) Pop has pep in his step Love Goggles I woke up with a smile Love Goggles  How'd you get to be so hot, Pop? Love Goggles Beer goggles make everybody look so hot  But Love Goggles ------ Rap 1 ------ Make you the hottest

The gay romance of two older men. One out in public. One deeply closeted.  This blog is an outlet for my romantic creativity. Love posts to my inspiration of 18 years. So he can read them on the down low. So I keep from self-detonation. It's a weird relationship because he's in the closet. Sometimes. But I am not. Most people forget or can't believe I'm gay. That's how butch I am as a retired brick mason. He's very manly, except in bed. Since our love is secret, we crave going out in public. Love is like playing with fire. You get burned. But heal up & play again. I reassure him. If people find out you're gay, nobody will care. Times have changed. Your family will still love you. Your wife will still hate you. Work still needs your special skills. I will be here to catch your fall. I'm a minor local celebrity political writer. I came out in a 2003 newspaper article, page 100 in my book. Before he & I met. Go there if you want politics.  NO POLITI