I Can't And I Must

I can't and I must at the same time

I can't let go of your memory

And I must grab hold of intimacy

Hesitancy and urgency

At the same time

I can't say No and I must go

I can't stay yet I linger on 

I can't let myself love again

I must protect my heart from pain

I can't hide away so easily

I must display my love for all to see

I can't be public since our love is secret

I must safeguard my heart

Not wreck it

I can't let go of your memory

I must protect it from injury 

I can't say No and I must go

I can't sleep / I lie awake

I can't and I must

At the same time we carry on

I can't love you and I must love you

Hesitant and urgent

I can't and I must

Let my heart love again.