The Sum Of Us 1994

I was overcome with tears & sobs at the end of this movie. Tears of joy. Memories of my own father.

In the film the father accepts his gay son Jeff (Russell Crowe). He expects he'll have take care of the sick son some day because of the AIDS epidemic. But it's the son who cares for the father, who has a stroke New Years Eve after his new-found lady friend feels betrayed that her new boyfriend didn't tell her his son is gay.

Meanwhile one day pushing the father's wheelchair to the park, Jeff sees his ex-lover. He goes over to talk. Jeff returns giddy & transformed by love. The father sees the transformation & approves. Tears of joy for the son's happiness.

I remember my father never really accepted me. I came back home to take care of him sick with leukemia. He later died from pancreatic cancer while I was at a gay bar. Two of my aunts came down to give me a break from caretaking. 

Previously my dad got drunk one night & said gay slurs to me. Why do I need to "get with 'em"? Next morning when he was sober, I told him I won't tolerate that. If he has something to say, say it to me when you're sober. Next time you get drunk, I'll go "get with 'em" until you sober up. He never spoke cross to me again.

My dad passed away in 1998. I wrote & delivered the eulogy. I forgive him. I love my dad for all the love & acceptance he gave me throughout my life. 

A couple years before, I brought my boyfriend with me from Cleveland to visit. We slept together in my dad's house for a couple days. My dad never said a mean word. Now I'm crying again.