Dealing With Loneliness

Fried Green Tomatoes -- "You don't want to die here all alone" said Kathy Bates' character. "There are worse things" said the old lady who escaped the nursing home.

For me I'm ok with being alone and single. Like a musician who practices hundreds of hours for a 5-minute performance. The purpose of the practice is to share with someone at some point. Playing alone has catharsis. The ultimate goal is to share. Like my love blog. 

I'm in a relationship. But we're apart for long stretches. One of my fears is betrayal and STDs. It's not enough to be just honest in an open relationship (friend with benefits). As a demi-sexual, I need an emotional connection in order to have a sexual connection. So 20 days on Grindr in June drove me crazy. E-harmony wasn't much better. I learn repeatedly I have better luck in person.

Sometimes a stranger will open up to me like we're soulmates. Because I'm not hiding anything. Whereas my boyfriend, who I first met in person,feels people are holding back. Because he's hiding something. He's in the closet. So he feels lonely in a crowded room. I only feel lonely when I miss someone. I need alone time to recharge. When I'm alone, I'm the most positive and creative. Also I see alone time as healing and protecting myself. Love is like playing with fire. You get burned, heal up and play again. All things in moderation.

I'm glad I found your podcast.

 What Lonely Feels Like