Kiss The Bride

YouTube must read my blog. The algorithm placed this sweet movie in my feed to put life in perspective. I've been thinking about past romances.

I had a man crush on another cadet way back in 1982. Before I ever thought about the military. He's the reason I joined ROTC spring semester of '83. A complicated college career.

And the movie "Officer and a Gentleman" I saw with my mom at the discount theater over Christmas break. Like Richard Gere's character, I realized I had no place else to go.

I saw my crush naked with an erection in the shower more than once. I saw him hook up with girls in his dorm room across the hall. I remember Abracadabra on his boom box. "I wanna reach out & grab ya." 

But he was straight.

We were best friends. I never made a pass at him. Some years ago he contacted me via Facebook. He had been married & divorced a couple times with children. He wanted me to call him on the phone. I never did.

I'm not sure why. I wanted to leave the past in the past. What would I say if he asked why I never married or had any kids? That I'm gay? That my boyfriend is married with kids so that base is covered? Yes I should have.

I have a boyfriend now for almost two decades. It's fun to reminisce. But I'm not sure I can handle the rekindling of old friendships. Outing myself & admitting I had lived a lie. I had lied to them so many times.

So I love the one I'm with today very much. I don't want to lie to him. And I never will. I don't want him to doubt my true love. What a blessing! A chance meeting. I would marry him in a heartbeat. Love him every day forever.

And keep writing poems, love songs & love letters. Let this blog testify to my everlasting love.