Complicated Gay Love

My boyfriend called to apologize for standing me up for a gym date this morning. But I didn't feel stood up. He was hoping to go but definitely couldn't repeat yesterday's good time, which he called & initiated. My intention to go to the gym today was also tentative. It was good to hear his voice. To say thanks for a good time. We're into routine so we don't have to set the next routine date.  ONE OF US will call on the telephone  ONE OF US will drive down the lonely road ONE OF US will make sure BOTH OF US make love BOTH OF US together yeah! BOTH OF US make love.

  All doubt disappeared when I saw him. He read the previous posts to me. I simply slipped his mind. He made it up to me with special love-making. His standing me up for a gym date wasn't serious enough for a spanking. In vino veritas. We took a bottle of wine on our walk to the river. Lot of talking about sex & public displays of affection.  Risk-taking. Elbow bumping. Slow walking. Picture taking in provocative poses. Hand holding. Necking under the picnic shelter on the hottest day of the year. Love-making in my apartment.  We agreed not to set a specific next date. Just call each other late next week or talk at the gym. After seven hours together, he didn't want to leave. I didn't want him to leave. But we have other responsibilities. How silly of me to ever doubt his love!

What should I do  If I start to doubt Is love too complicated To figure out What should I do To convince myself your love is true How do I restore the faith and trust What should I tell myself Be strong and tough Should I look at your picture a million times The honesty of your underwear The trickling of the river The candor of your smiling eyes Reflection of dappled sunlight What should I do To chase away the doubt Is love too complicated To figure out What should I do What should I say To convince myself To keep the faith What should I do If I start to doubt Is love too complicated To figure out What should I do 

My boyfriend stood me up this morning.  We agreed one week ago to meet at the gym. He could have cancelled at the last minute 9 o'clock. I called him & left a message after my hour-long workout. He called within the hour. He's a busy man. Another slogan of our relationship is you cancel a date as soon as you find out you can't make it. You don't wait until the last minute. But times have changed. I don't have a busy schedule because I'm retired. He's semi-retired albeit ten years older than me. I had a week of happy longing for today. Good feelings of faith. Have faith in love, remember?  Our dating is due for a slow-down. It ebbs & flows. In June we hooked up nine times. But only once last October. The Doubt   Why would he stand me up? What if he met a trick this morning on the way to our date? What if he was calling from the trick's house?  If he can cheat on his wife with me, why can't he cheat on both of us with a third? What if this is t

...It's sad to think  We're not going to make it  And it's gotten to the point  Where we just can't fake it  For some ungodly reason We just won't let it die I guess NEITHER ONE OF US  Wants to be the first to say goodbye... ------------------------------ Mr. DJ. Play this song while I slow dance with my boyfriend in our summer of love. It is a sad song. When the two of you meet, the relationship is casual. Just sex. Doesn't mean anything.  Then it becomes serious. Strong passions outside of sex. Here comes marriage. Then casual again. Just going through the motions if making love at all. Thousands of songs where only one party falls out of love. That's called heart--break. This song is doubly sad because both parties lose that loving feeling. So what? This song is the opposite of my relationship right now. Sure the future will bring doubt and a bumpy road and shifting sand. But in the summer of 2022 my love stands like a rock to share with my boyfriend. It&

Faith The final frontier  These are the adventures  Of a romantic love affair Whose destiny is to spread love Throughout the universe Faith That your love is sincere Your touch is real Your gaze is honest and true Your love game is not fake Have faith in me When I'm not with you Have faith  I'm thinking only of you Longing for your arms only Have faith in me  Like I have faith in you  I just feel that your love is real  I can't prove it  Don't want to lose it  Have faith in me I have faith in you Trust my love Like I trust you Have faith in love. UPDATE My boyfriend was feeling insecure he could never write like me. Wait a minute. I'm looking for a lover, not a writer. Besides he reads all these posts out loud to me & lots of other stuff. Without writers there would be nothing to read. Without bottoms there would be no tops. I'm lucky to have someone who's not overwhelmed by my passions. So we went for a walk. I took the new pic. Wow! Yeah I'm tappin

I can't explain this feeling  You can always depend on me  To give you L-O-V-E  Love is a friend of mine Oh Love is something so divine Oh Love is a burning in my soul  Oh Love Stop & look at the big wheel roll L-O-V-E Love  "I started to write this song about you  Then I decided to write it all about love  That it appeared to me  That you wasn't happy And that's for sure Positively  It's what the world is made of  So give me more L-O-V-E Love is a walk down Main Street Oh Love is an apple that's so sweet Oh Love" [...] L-O-V-E Love!

From December until July. The seventh year of the 18-year relationship. I called him about a week before Christmas. I left a message. He didn't call back. We were about to break up at Christmas yet another time. We already knew a bad season for us was approaching. A couple days later I call again. He answers.  He hadn't returned my call because he doesn't have time for long conversations. I'm like.... Wait a minute. We only talk one or two minutes. Long enough to set up the next rendezvous. You know I hate talking on the phone.  He agreed. We hooked up the next day. But it wasn't like it used to be. We were distant. I still don't know the real reason he didn't call right back.  We just went through the motions. Thus was born one of our relationship slogans. Our bad sex is better than most people's great sex. But something was missing. So I didn't call him anymore. It took a lot of discipline. I wanted to call badly. I didn't even try to do anythi

My heart is breaking in two Because I'm breaking up with you  My watch has stopped  The other shoe has dropped  The time has come  for me to be lonesome  My heart aches for you  Still I'm breaking up with you  Memories are many  We lived a movie  I must move on  from this love story  I must move on  My heart breaks in two  I'm breaking up with you  My heart is breaking up with you.  My Heart Is Breaking Up With You.  Dec. 5, 2013.

Poem.  Apr. 26, 2013. Dear Lover Like a flower you appear At my door with a smile And beaming eyes Handbag in hand Swish in step I'm nervous Don't say the wrong thing Let your body do the talking After all these years And forever more Smell the flower at my door I'm smiling too Come on in.

Everything's a symbol  Symbol of love  Everywhere I go  It's you I'm thinking of  Everything's a symbol  Reminds me of you  Words running through my mind are running after you  Everything's a symbol standing in your place  Everywhere I look  There I see your face Everything's a symbol  of how I felt  when I was making love to you Everything's a symbol / Symbol of love  Everywhere I go / It's you I'm thinking of  Everything's a symbol / Symbol of love.  Symbol Of Love.  Oct. 3, 2004.

I'm pretty sure that the world  will not stop spinning  if you fall in love with me The wind won't stop blowing  And trees won't stop growing  No matter what the weather It's okay for you to fall in love with me  As long as we both can keep it together It's okay to fall in love with me  It's okay to fall in love.  It's Okay To Fall In Love.  Sep. 28, 2004.

  Like a hand in glove  Warm and snug  Our love is meant to be A kiss a hug Smiles from above  Our love is meant to be Everlasting love.  "Our Love Is Meant To Be" - 12-26-2020. There is no gift that could ever compare to the steady sweet joy  of the love that we share  Love That We Share. "Love That We Share" - 12-23-2020. 

Love-making Risk-taking  Heart-breaking Earth-shaking  Passion & Romance I'm Not Faking  Sex & Trust I'm Not Faking my Love When my finger touches your forearm I'm Not Faking When my elbow bumps into yours I'm Not Faking When I kiss you on your lips I'm Not Faking When I hold you by your hips I'm Not Faking my Love Risk-taking Heart-breaking Earth-shaking Chance-taking Passion & Romance Sex & Trust  I'm Not Faking  What about you? Are You Faking your Love? When my finger touches your forearm Are You Faking? When my elbow bumps into yours Are You Faking? When I kiss your lips  Are You Faking your Love? My Heart may break The Earth may shake  But My Love is not Fake  Love-making Risk-taking Heart-breaking Earth-shaking I'm Not Faking my Love  I'm Not Faking my Love-making I'm Not Faking  My Love is not Fake Love-making Risk-taking Heart-breaking Earth-shaking  I'm Not Faking my Love.  UPDATE My boyfriend read every word out loud